Why Biscuits are like Facebook

Admittedly, there are some differences between biscuits and the social intricacies of using a network such as Facebook. Things can go wrong with both biscuits and Facebook for many reasons, although I suspect you are probably more comfortable dealing with a few biscuity crumbs rather than the meltdown managed hosting – pc support, or other complicated server issues. Nevertheless – I give you my words of caution.

facebook biscuits bourbon

You will see that the word ‘Biscuit’ can be interchanged with the ‘Facebook’ in every one of the following examples.

Everyone gets excited when they change but ultimately wants the original version:

New and improved biscuits! New shiny packaging! In essence, they are like the old biscuits with a few small changes. You are excited for a while but soon realise that the old biscuits were better. Old biscuits are unfortunately not available anymore. You might start a Facebook campaign to get your old biscuits back.

Nearly everyone likes them:

Nearly everyone you know likes biscuits. Some people have biscuits all the time, every day. Other people may have a biscuit every now and then. Only a few people never have biscuits. Maybe they are opposed to everything that biscuits stand for, or maybe they’re just too old for biscuits.

It’s very hard to cut down:

Once you develop a soft spot for biscuits, it is hard to imagine your life without them. You have urges for them and you miss them. Once you have them though, you realise that they aren’t as great as you thought they were going to be. This doesn’t stop you from wanting more though.

They are portable:

Biscuits can be taken anywhere. Biscuits at home, at work, and even in your pocket. Lots of people have biscuits on their commute to and from work, although this can be annoying for others in the near vicinity. No-one talks because they are too busy with their biscuits. You wonder what is so interesting about their biscuits. You wish your biscuits were that exciting too.

You shouldn’t leave them with someone you don’t trust:

Don’t leave your biscuits with someone you don’t implicitly trust. Having access to someone else’s biscuits is very tempting and before you know it you will be up to mischief. If it’s taken too far, you may find yourself with no biscuits at all.

You should ration them to kids:

Kids can’t be trusted with biscuits. If they are left to have biscuits whenever they want then they will accept it as socially acceptable. When you are trying to have a conversation with them about the importance of road safety, they will be distracted by biscuits. Dangerous. You should allow kids to have biscuits, because you have biscuits and you have them responsibly, but just make sure they don’t go overboard. It’s not healthy.

People will become worried about you if you have them too much:

If you sit in your room all day with biscuits people will become worried about you. Firstly, your family will notice that you don’t talk to them as much, and then your friends will try and call you. People start to notice that you are missing out on meals. You know that there is a problem, but biscuits are just so addictive.

It seems the fate of biscuits and Facebook are intertwined. Destined to end in tragedy like one of Shakespeare’s great works, or forever encapsulating the hearts of millions? That my friends, is how the cookie crumbles.

Alexander Jordan

I am a director, marketer, designer and thinker. I love all things tech, travel, music and culture.Follow me on Twitter, and Google+
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thinking creativity
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